Your Thoughts Have Power

Proverbs 23:7 As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.

Sometimes wrong thinking can keep you from having what God has ordained for you. Negative thoughts will manifest defeatism and chaos in your life. You have to look inside yourself to identify the things that prevent you from operating in the fullness of your purpose, your assignment and who God has ordained you to be.

Sometimes it’s hard to move yourself out of your way and change your thought pattern so that greatness can be revealed in you.  Some of these negative thoughts and attributes have been passed on through generational curses and soul ties that can only be unraveled though your faith in God. You don’t have to be wicked because your family is. Just because drug abuse or alcoholism runs in your family, it doesn’t mean that you have to be one. If you hold on to ungodly thoughts, they will turn into strongholds that will keep you locked in an internal battle that can only be won through prayer, fasting, meditating on God’s word and saturating yourself with the things of God.

You must let go of past hurts and negative thoughts so that God can reveal your calling. Then you will be able to think affirmatively and speak positivity over yourself so that all things God can be manifested in your life.

An Everlasting Love

Jeremiah 31:3 The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.

When I married my husband I had no idea of what an everlasting love would look like. I didn’t have a blueprint on making a marriage work and keeping it together because I grew up in a home where there was conflict, infidelity, and control. I thought that these things were something that you had to put up with in your marriage.

When My husband found me, he was totally different from what I grew up seeing. He was kind, calm, easy going and non-confrontational. When conflict would arise, he would walk away but I would be ready to combat the situation. He had a stronger relation with God, so he brought that into our marriage. It wasn’t until I started studying the word with him and applying it in my marriage that I began to understand what an everlasting love would look like.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

This is the blueprint that we use for our marriage. Weve learned to be patient with one another and respect each other’s difference. We lead with love and kindness in how we talk to one another and how we treat each other. We don’t dishonor each other by lying or saying disrespectful things. I’m not saying that there won’t be times when you may get angry, but we’ve learned to resolve things and keep moving. The bible says Ephesians 4:26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:”  We’ve learned to make up quickly before going to bed so that we can sleep restfully. Don’t keep a tally of past wrong doings. You have to let stuff go because hanging on to negativity only keeps you in bondage. Always be truthful and honest and trustworthy because without those core attributes your marriage will not last.

To have everlasting love takes hard work, commitment and most importantly love. You have to love one another the way God loves you when he gave his only son and as long as we believe in him and acknowledge him, we have everlasting life. John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

So that sums it up for me who wouldn’t want an everlasting life so that we can continue God’s everlasting love. My husband and I will be married 29 years this Valentine’s Day and I look forward to spending the rest of my days with him.

Be In Relationship with God.

John 15:5 I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.

A relationship with God is the most important relationship that you can have. The health of your marriage, your family relationships, friendships and business relationships also reflect on your personal walk with the God. When relationships are centered on the word of God things can change.

If you are not abiding in God and he in you, then you don’t have a solid foundation to stand on in any relationship. If you don’t spend quality time in your relationship with God, how would you know that quality time is important in nourishing your other relationships. If you don’t spend time talking to God, how would you know what effective communication looks like in your other relationship. If you only call on God when you need him then that lack of involvement will show up in your other relationships.

A true relationship with God will teach you how to be honest and trustworthy in other relationships. If God is not an intricate part of your life, you will not understand the value of love, fellowship and relationship. We have to love those who are in relationship as God loves the church. If you don’t understand God’s unconditional love you can’t give unconditional love. That means loving someone for the God in them and not the flesh that they are wrapped in. Seeing them as God sees them, seeing them as a soul, looking past their faults and understanding their needs and loving without judgment, or blame.

We also have to ask ourselves if we are walking in the spirit of pride? Pride can corrupt your thinking to the point that you are no longer who you were intended to be. Galatians 6:3-4 For if a man think himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceiveth himself. But let every man prove his own work, and then shall he have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another. If everything is always about what you need and what you want or what you like and what you don’t like, then you must first examine yourself before judging others. Love shouldn’t be based on what someone can do for you or how they make you feel about yourself or if they make you happy. If you are looking to someone else for your happiness., then you definitely need to seek God. If your marriage or any relationship is built on satisfying your own vainglory, then you are in it for the wrong reasons. Only God can fill that emptiness and make you whole.

Stop looking for what you can get from another person instead look for how you can serve that person. Stop looking for other people to be something that only God can be in your life. When you change yourself, you can change your relationships. You can foster Godly relationships and friendships with others without malice. You can have relationships with the opposite sex without it being romantic or sexual. When you understand who you are and who they are and what purpose they serve in your life then you will see them as a kingdom connection. You will see them as someone who God has placed in your life to carry out his assignment. You will walk in the spirit and not the flesh. Romans 8:6 For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. You will see them as an extension of God, and you will ultimately live a life of peace.

The Power of No

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Matthew 5:37 “All you need to say is simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.”

Oftentimes, one may find themselves in situations that they can’t get out of because they haven’t learned the power of the word NO. Saying no means to express dissent, denial, or refusal in response to a question or request. Some of us get into a world of trouble by saying yes to a request that you know you have no intention of fulfilling. Once you’ve committed yourself to something it causes others to expect something from you.

As Christians,  you want to trust people at their word, so you believe that they will follow through with what they say. They will put you in a state of anticipation, so when they don”t live up to your expectations, in your mind they are a liar and can’t be trusted. That is why the bible says to simply say yes or no, anything other than that comes from the evil one. Satan is the father of lies, therefore you don’t want to be perceived as being one of his children.

Learn the power of the word NO and stop trying to be a people pleaser. It is not your job to please people but it is your job to please God. If you can’t commit to something just say NO. Be truthful and honest, you will get more respect by telling someone that you can’t rather than saying that you can and looking like a liar when you don’t meet the expectation.

Parenting Adult Children

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Proverbs 22:6 (NIV) “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.”

As parents, we always want what’s best for our children, so we do everything possible to provide them with the tools to succeed in life. We invest thousands of dollars in their education, we set up bank accounts to give them the means to finance their needs as well as their wants. We’ve parented them and taught them how to be great people with good morals and fine character.  Therefore, we have great confidence that they are ready to be released into the world and can make it on their own.

So, if that’s the case, why do some children return to their parents house after being out on their own? At that point, as a parent should you exercise tough love and tell them no?

When you allow them to come back home as adults, you are putting them back in the position of being a child. Therefore, you should ask yourself, did I allow them to utilize the tools that would enable their success or did I do everything for them? When you do everything for your children and don’t allow them to make their own decisions, you handicap them and that’s what keeps them attached to you. 

Think about it, are you an enabler? If you’ve never taught them to cook, clean, pay their own bills and be good stewards over their finances, then how would they know what to do? As parents, when raising adults, we must allow them to become adults. The hardest thing to do is to get out of the way and allow them to fly.  So give them the wisdom to prosper, then allow God to give them the wisdom to prevail.  As long, as you turn them over to God, they will be okay!!!