Parenting Adult Children

Proverbs 22:6 (NIV) “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.”

As parents, we always want what’s best for our children, so we do everything possible to provide them with the tools to succeed in life. We invest thousands of dollars in their education, we set up bank accounts to give them the means to finance their needs as well as their wants. We’ve parented them and taught them how to be great people with good morals and fine character.  Therefore, we have great confidence that they are ready to be released into the world and can make it on their own.

So, if that’s the case, why do some children return to their parents house after being out on their own? At that point, as a parent should you exercise tough love and tell them no?

When you allow them to come back home as adults, you are putting them back in the position of being a child. Therefore, you should ask yourself, did I allow them to utilize the tools that would enable their success or did I do everything for them? When you do everything for your children and don’t allow them to make their own decisions, you handicap them and that’s what keeps them attached to you. 

Think about it, are you an enabler? If you’ve never taught them to cook, clean, pay their own bills and be good stewards over their finances, then how would they know what to do? As parents, when raising adults, we must allow them to become adults. The hardest thing to do is to get out of the way and allow them to fly.  So give them the wisdom to prosper, then allow God to give them the wisdom to prevail.  As long, as you turn them over to God, they will be okay!!!